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designer: littlegurlxiaorene
Basecode: increasingly

Thinking about some stuffs and i chanced upon a thought about forgetting. There are things we want to forget and things we want to keep.. Is there time or will i remember? What happens if one day i forget everything? Will i still remember?

Here's what i hope i will remember:
5 years of friendship
Playing for her wedding song
070509
No bday
The lie
Her

If i could, i will want to forget everything else.. Dreadful week ahead. Mudcake on monday..

Hope.. Is all i can have. Realised it's actually a one way trip.. It must have hurt somehow but still, just go on. I know things doesn't change because you want it to.. All the more, it's been a repetition. Seeing what i see, hearing what i heard.. It's all there. For all their concerns, i know what i'm doing.. I feel happy this way. Can't i be like this? All i ever wanted was the happiness i see.. no one will understand. It's hard.. hard.

Somethings are hard to express.. All i know is smiling when you know you're not happy. It's hard but that's all you can do. Rather suffer alone then to make the other hurt.. So, i just want to laugh it off. Make myself feel better. Can i ever put it down and give my blessings? It's not about mi or us.. It's about her. It's good to know she's happy..

Am i dumb? laugh it off.. i still don't know what i'm gonna do. Should i take the transit and just bail out of here? Or should i carry on.. It matters so much and i don't think anyone will understand. It's for the wonderful memories, not what to expect.. Trying hard without feeling attached. It's hard to get back what you lost, when you realised it.. You imagine it. Everything reminds you of something dear.. The recollections like snaps flashing through, reminsince it, endowell it but it's never coming back. Living in the dreams of something you can only yearn for, the feeling so long, so tragic.. Like a poison you desire. At times you don't want to forget, it lingers..

i'm stuck in the past. Unwind..

Its been rough.. living in blurs. No 21 for me.. i passed my age.

Because i'm so foolish, i know only you..
You who are looking at someone else,
You probably don't know my heart.
There is no me in your day,
Probably not even in your memories..
But i'm looking at only you as my tears continue to fall.
I'm happy with looking at your back figure,
Though you still don't know my heart..
Though at the end, you'll just brush past me.

The days that i miss you so much..
The days when it's too hard to bear.
The words i love you lingers on my lips.
Once again, alone, crying for you..
Once again, alone, missing for you..
Baby, i love you.
I'm waiting for you..

There is no me in your day,
Probably not even in your memories.
But i'm looking at only you,
Making memories by myself..

Bye bye, never say goodbye..
Though i can't hold onto you.
I need you, i can't say anything else..
I want you, i'll wish and wish again.
The days when you fill up my thoughts..
The days when my heart grows cold and i'm sad.
The words i miss you lingers on my lips.
Once again, alone, crying for you..
Once again, alone, missing for you..
Baby, i love you.
I'm waiting for you..

The flock of birds making merry, the lonely moon, the dangling fan.. I look out of the square and let my mind wonder. Days seems to be the same, nights seems to be sane.. One thought to keep me awake, one memory to keep it all going, one person to repeat it again. I wonder, isit time yet? Or should i just let it be.. Am i right to do something that worthy, or should i not. It seems like i should but there's hesitation in me.. I'm not going to think the way i am anymore. I know i want it so much but at the same time i cannot bring myself to it. I did what i should and can and it's not about me.. So, let the feelings flow through the efidgey and let fate do the rest. It's predestinated.. My hopes on my wish. I don't get it.. only you.

Pictures of you on my mirror.. Staring. Thinking. Spacing. Sometimes just taking a few seconds to unwind.. Cry. Was it right to place it there? Reverse. Time. Memory. It wasn't what i was expecting.. Just a reminder. You came into my life..