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Forbes who loves this gal very much

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designer: littlegurlxiaorene
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There she goes.. seems inevitable. taking a step back to watch from a distance.. I didn't cry the day you moved away.. I didn't think that I could feel this pain until i saw the stranger in you. Can you see.. the girl you used to be? the one I lost when I let go of you..

i realised something after so long.. humans can't depend on humans to sastify one another.. you will just end up feeling more disappointed. even if they are together, best friends, brothers and sisters. That emptiness in our hearts can only be filled by God's love.. i went there today with a troubled and sealed heart.. but, i came out free.

Everything about being true.. isit so complicating? hard to swallow? hard to comprehend? well, have you ever treated someone as your true friend? but, does that person feels the same for you? what's the connection u both had? that shared vision.. is there steadfast loyalty? and is there selfless giving? you may have lots of friends or you may not even have that much.. does it matter so much? what matters most is that they are there in times of needs.. they are honest in correction and protects you when you're attacked.. just cherish the ones you have around you and put them in a circle instead of a heart because hearts gets broken but a circle goes on forever..

i may not be a true friend after all.. im in this friendship which is so-called wrong from the start. this friendship started on a wrong foot or wrong purpose.. i don't know what i should do? i want to make it better. i wished that it will be new, the one that is right.. not this. it all boils down to mi.. how badly i wished to change it. how it fell apart so sudden.. how it hurts so much.. just want you to be happy. sorry for treating you like this..

what am i gonna say? it feels like nothing's gonna change.. damn! am i thinking what i am thinking? just seems so messed up this few days. its so different at this stage.. im taking it hard, i feel.. the things that keep mounting on, i just hate it. isit true or isit not? some wrongs here and there ended things up in a sour note.. im scared when i see her. i don't know why.. just wanna see her so much. but now.. i got this second thought. there's nothing more i can really do.. i'll wait.

haix.. don't know what to say about today. initially, i was very happy to talk to her.. maybe talked a little too much? but, end up i make her angry again.. i know sometimes i abit careless or maybe like to joke too much. in the end, i didnt think of how u felt.. i didnt mean it really. i just hope it won't end up like last thursday.. which eventually lasts until today. but, now the same thing happend again.. Oh man.. why i am i always like that. i deserve a slap from her.. forbes, forbes.. watch what u say man~ i know u well enough and i still like that.. haix. my feelings will always flactuate to whatever u do. can't help being that way.. haix. what to do now? wait and see what will happend tommorrow.. just hope all goes well. if im emo.. means sad case. I'M SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY~ haix.

This post will be special.. Someone requested that i post in singlish lah. haix.. troublesome lor. Nevermind.. shall do it lah. Plus, she ask mi blog about her. im gonna expose her! haha.. i not so bad de.

Meet someone today.. long time never see. how long arhx? about 1 year already.. so long rite? anyway.. this person is my 'Best sitting partner in the world' haha.. know her for like 5 years. still never change much.. abit taller nia. cause she play cheat! wear heels. if not im taller.. but, just that she abit less materialistic and more humble. eeeeee, can't believe i actually say that lah. today, finally store up all ur sacarsim and shoot mi rite? but, she's another gal that's so no self confidence and full of self conciousness. if all gals i meet all like this, i'll have a tough time lah. haix.. so sorry lah. i now cash strapped.. need to be humble and cheapo abit. say until i like super rich and proud huh? well, i now bankrupt liao.. stock market dropped shares. aiya.. u know why lah. haha. See lah.. now i broke again. eat eat eat.. though not at restaurant but still damn ex lah. wah piang.. must save again. if not next week no money to spent again. let's do it weekly then? cool man~ aiya.. i scared lata u fat then blame mi or lata that guy jealous.. whahahax. ask him hang out with mi lah.. then we go see japanese gal together. woohoo~ brother rite? hohoho. i know your secrets.. haix. make mi feel so sad. lolx. aiya.. jiayou for uni bahx. pray to God lor.. 'ask and u shall recieve' haha. study law bahx.. hehex. if u want, hang out more with mi lor. your ang moh will improve de.. still say my blog so poetic. i suddenly feel smart lah.. our intelligence almost the same level. haha! not like that jiesi.. whole day say i stupid. his family all gifted in music and maths lah.. so hao lian!

eh, jiesi! let mi play the concert grand piano when u have it ok!!!!! it will be so WOAH lah~ take care of my guitar hor.. if not u buy another one for mi and i dun wan yamaha de. hehex. Btw, my piano is they carry 14 floor up de. not use crane.. so cool lahx. unfair lah.. u don't know how to play piano still can get a concert grand lehx.. nah bei. i want i want a grand.. argh~ no money.

Sian.. next time see ashely must beat him le. talk behind my back huh? haha.. no lah. need to catch up too. must see he change anot.. youyun say he mature liao! say some chim wise stuffs. i was like woah lah.. never go choir. pangseh mi! sian lah! should go the class bbq.. Zzzz. next time must go, youyun go with mi hor.. don't busy with dunno what. i know u got time to spare de..

i hope between mi and her, the awkardness will end.. i dunno how to put it lah. so vexed.. keep mi thinking all the time.

Fate gives u hope but faith makes u hope.. i want to change my fate because fate changes everything. i need to put faith into it.. only through faith will there bring about change.

well, she's still not gonna talk to mi i believe.. why like that? i just want to know why? isit mi or isit something else? anyway.. just see how it goes. in the end.. it will always turn out to be my fault. i did what i could.. apologise, msg and call countless of times but she still choose to be like this.. haix. what do u want mi to do? please don't pretend and play petty.. im already sorry enough.

guess i had too much.. nosebleed. nevermind.. as long as it gets mi through the day, its good enough for now. Dont even know what's wrong..

if u hear mi.. im just sorry for everything. even sorry for things i've never did.

Oh Lord.. are u making fun of mi? my fate sux isnt it? haha.. well. Sometimes I ponder about what will come next.. Where will my life turn when it seems to stall? When is the next time I will smile again? and how will I get up, should I fall? Happiness fills me with a touch of sadness. By that I mean I know it can't last.. Beauty decays, laughter subsides. When will the stones be cast? Tragedy can be measured.. by the amount of happiness taken away. Elusion is our only protection.. As we fall victim to its prey. you have to hold it in your hand.. You have to close your eyes.. You have to breathe it in. Happiness may end.. While tragedy begins.. Today is the beginning.. Is tomorrow the end?


why isnt she replying my calls and msgs? haix. nevermind.. promise not to write sad stuffs. tuck it deep in my empty shell bahx..

Haix.. feel damn emo right now. just a phrase can cause mi so much hurt.. what to do? she's pissed.. and im sad.. should have known better. why? why? why? why? will she forgive mi? do i deserve this?

I'm so sorry.. I cant be perfect.
I'm so sorry.. I cant smile.
I'm so sorry.. but nothing in my mind is working.
I'm so sorry.. I dont understand myself. Even right now..

Haix.. bad bad bad day. i thought things will go on fine, sadly.. i need my consolers.. my cordon blue. seriously.. when it comes, it all came crashing down.. falling again. first time.. i feel it burning.. scotching with bitterness. it tinges and lingers.. how intoxicating. so bitter sweet.. i think im a passive.. the urge is there.. but i mustn't.

Anyway.. my fault. blame mi blame mi.. never angry with u and never your fault.. but, i hope you forgive mi and put it aside..

The height of pain in life is to sit beside the person u love most.. knowing that the person can never be yours.

I'd give it all to see that little flash of happiness on your face.. The delightful curve. Rewarding beyond imagination.. Though you don't seem to think so.. The way your eyes shimmer, complementing that which already happened. I'd do anything just to make you smile once more.. To make you happy. Because the earth stops spinning for a second everytime u did that. i feel contented.. every time you smile.

he's been there from the beginning.. Seen you through, at least the last one or two. he knows the in's and out's of your character.. he's seen you hurt before. I'm wondering if you notice him.. In your day to day walk.. Everyone says that he's perfect for you. But you laugh at the 'joke'. I think.. in his mind, he knows that you two will be together in the end. Because, you see.. he knows you that well, despite everything, and anything.. he'll be there for u as your friend.

falling in love not knowing why or how. It's so special a feeling that it doesn't require much answers. U just love no matter how stupid u become. Giving someone all ur love is never an assurance that they'll love u back.. Don't expect love in return.. just wait for it to grow in their hearts. But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.