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Forbes who loves this gal very much

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Just hear mi talk and you read (=

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designer: littlegurlxiaorene
Basecode: increasingly

a dAmn bad day i had.. of all days, why rain today? spoil my plans.. im utterly disappointed with myself and i hate myself! supposed to give u the best memorable birthday and then came this fag shit.. am i cursed or what? i try so hard to give u the best but reality just flushed it down the drain.. why all this always happends to mi? im totally lost.. when u put all your best and hopes in something, it gets dashed or didnt work out, it just makes u feel so broken.. im broken physically - tired and sick of all the sacrificing, mentally- hopeless thinking and spiritually - GOD at work again.. im just very tired of all this crap. im losing my confidence, self esteem and all kinds of nonsense again. its always like this, suffer suffer, suffer.. who can i turn to? im just a shadow to myself.. a has been. my heart is broken from 1 to 2 to 4 to 8 to 16 to 32 to 64 to 128 to 256 to 512 to 1024 to 2048 all the way until my maths fail mi.. is it so hard to be the person i am? im just living everyday being enslaved by the flesh.. had the flesh got the better of mi?

what u say really struck mi hard.. 'u still dont know mi well?' ya.. i begin to feel so. i cant understand or will ever get to understand u. i know its always been mi liking u and its never the other way round. you are just too complicated.. i tried my utmost best to make u trust and believe mi.. but, u dont.. even during the studying period, i made a trip all the way to ur house to check on you and tell u tips.. u didnt appreciate.. when u say u dont know fmgt, i desperately tried to learn all i could and make the trip to teach u till u know.. all this not enough? what must i do then? you are just making things hard and tough for mi. i dont know if im stupid or what.. i want to prove that you can trust mi. i wanted to get the bear for u, but its ok if u dont want.. i just thought it was sweet and thoughtful.. i know, u got different taste. i shall find something else then..

i really cant stand myself anymore.. things are always affecting mi and i just cant move on or confront it.. the phrase 'u still dont know mi' 'u still dont know mi' 'u still dont know mi' keeps echoing in my head.. im just stab hard. all the while im just doing things to touch and impress u but it is not the mi that impresses u.. i cant feel my heart now, its shrinking smaller and smaller.. where is it? now all gloom and dull..

at the river, lots of stuffs poured through my head.. the droplets that dropped into the water are just mere ripples to that of the vast sea of tears.. thinking of the past, i just dont know how to place it.. i just want u to know that u are very blessed. for mi to like u, know u and be there for u is really very tough.. i've already reached the stage of giving and forsaking everything just for u. it is simply too great to put it in words.. i want u to know that i dont blame u for all this, in fact it is my own choice to take this route..

i just wanna leave the world..